How to complain when you aren't sure what about

It seems a bit odd how 10,000 people have now complained about a Russell Brand radio show. It seems odd because, firstly, I can't imagine anyone actually listening to it. Its on at Saturday night at 9 PM; not exactly the school run breakfast audience who were offended by Ali G on the Sara Cox breakfast show. How many complaints did they receive from the public after the live show? Um, two. Yep. Andrew Sachs’ agent also complains however. Russell Brand presents his show the following Saturday as usual.

A week later, the Mail on Sunday runs a story about the whole sorry affair. Naturally, as with any other subject, their readers are outraged. Over 10,000 complain. Maybe with good reason. But it is safe to assume that none of them actually heard the show, save the two who already complained, or else it would not have taken a week to get their letters of outrage in the post.

Err, is that how regulation is supposed to work? An incident occurs unnoticed, until it is flagged up by some lazy journalists, at which point everyone decides to be outraged. Bit like how Stonewall went on a tirade a couple of years ago to sack Chris Moyles, despite the comments they were protesting against being several months old.

Why was the BBC so slow to react also? In commercial radio it seems common to be instantly suspended for making an offensive comment, al la Tommy Boyd on Talk Sport. But it took the complaints to start flooding into the BBC before they suspended the pair.

That said, Andrew Sachs and his granddaughter seem to be confused also. He says (in somewhat confusing third person. “They apologise to me and they say how awful for Mr Sachs, but nobody has offered any apology to my granddaughter. I replied to Jonathan Ross and suggested that is where he should direct his attentions. The real focus should be on the harm they have done to her.” However she said; “What’s funny about humiliating a lovely old man who has never harmed anyone in his life? My grandfather is really upset and says he wants the whole situation to end. It has been awful for him”. They should really have a chat. Kinda sweet really.

So no one knows who to blame, what to complain about, or who was offended. We all have to look to the Sunday Mail for guidance.

Russell Brand, who is an idiot, doesn’t seem to be handling it at all well, though. Jonathan Ross sent a nice letter and a bunch of flowers. Lovely. What a nice man. I forgive him. Brand however, commented, on his own radio show (which it is clear no one listens to), “I'd like to take this opportunity to issue a personal Russell Brand apology to Andrew Sachs, the great comic actor who played Manuel, for a message that Jonathan and I left on his answer phone, but it was quite funny. But! Sometimes, you mustn't swear on someone's answer phone and that's why I'd like to apologise personally.” No, Russell, that’s not how to apologise. In the post, not on the radio.

What a sorry situation indeed.