Rihanna, Umbrellas and Tyrrells

You may remember many moons ago: Tony Blair used to be prime minister, I was at university, the UK hadn't seen any major floods for fifty years (see my facebook note), the sun was shining, forecasters were predicting the best summer on record, and a song called umbrella by a little known Rihanna and Jay-Z was riding high in the charts. Oh wait, some things never change. Despite the fact that we clearly now live in an unrecognisably different country, that sodding song about a rain accessory is still at number one in the popular hit parade. Ten weeks it has been. Ten weeks. Just think about it. Who would go into HMV in late July thinking "I wonder which record I should purchase today?". They might consider it for a minute. Then, after a moment of pondering, a moment of realisation may occur. "I know, I think I will buy that song which as been number one for over three months - Umberella by Rihanna. Yes, that's definitely the record for me". Why would you not have bought it earlier? Surely you would have realised you liked it after it had been number one for two weeks and Urchin FM had been playing it every half hour for five weeks, not thirteen? Maybe the children born due to the joyous heat wave of April 2007 have grown up quicker and are wearing mini skirts sooner than ever, and have now bought the record they were conceived to on iTunes.

But what else used to happen in the pre-historic times which we fondly refer to as April 2007? Oh yeah, I used to write a blog. This one. I haven't really kept it up to date, but then I never said I would. But do I have some updates? Yes I do. You may remember that I wrote a letter to my preferred mainstream supermarket (Sainsbury's) to request that they sell my preferred brand of premium crisps (Tyrrells). Sounds like a marriage made in heaven. Their response is shown below (click the picture).

Basically, although I addressed the letter to the 'Product Team', it was intercepted by the 'Customer Response Team', who correctly identified that Tyrrells aren't stocked by the UK's third largest grocer. They did say they would pass the suggestion to the 'Buyers', who probably won't buy it. A glimmer of hope is given in the sentence "If enough customers want to see a particular item on the shelves, we will certainly do our best to provide it". Maybe I should organise a campaign. On the packaging, Tyrrells now claim not only to be low in fat, but also are sutable for vegans and coeliacs, and to top it off also have a low carbon footprint. Has there ever been a crisp which more perfectly fits the place, time and mood they existed in as much as this? I think not.

Maybe they ought to just stock up on water instead. However, I imagine the majority shoppers, not to mention panic buyers, just want to buy their copies of 'Umbrella' by Rihanna and Jay-Z and be out, though. And when that single ceases to be number one, the clouds will open and the floods will clear.